Project 2

Sunlight filters through your curtains. The [[front door]] is through the living room. The [[bathroom]] connects to your bedroom. The handmirror is on the [[vanity]].

Are you really going to go out looking like that? [[No.->Bedroom]]

You swallow two [[diet pills]] and [[shave]] your [[legs.->Bedroom]]

You [[look]] at the mirror. It belonged to your grandmother. You know the story.

You (text-style:"smear")[smear] concealer over your uneven skin. You frown at your appearance and turn [[away.->Bedroom 2]]

Sunlight filters through your curtains. The [[front door ->Front door 2]] is through the living room. The [[bathroom ->Bathroom 2]] connects to your bedroom. The [[hand mirror]] and your [[cell phone]] are on the [[vanity ->Vanity 3]].

Sunlight filters through your curtains. The [[front door ->Front door 3]] is through the living room. The [[bathroom ->Bathroom 3]] connects to your bedroom. The [[hand mirror->HM2]] is on the [[vanity ->Vanity 2]].

Are you really going to go out looking like that? [[No.->Bedroom 2]]

You wince as you pluck your [[eyebrows->Bedroom 2]].

You apply [[lipstick.]] It looks [[fine.->BR3]]

(Color:yellow)[The frame surrounding the mirror consists of an interwoven [[pattern]] of gold pieces twirling and circling each other. Inside the golden maze are enamel flowers and leaves with gemstones at their center. Two handcrafted [[butterfly]] figures grace the mirror’s frame, one at the top and the other diagonal to her sister, towards the bottom of the structure.]

(Color:yellow)[The frame surrounding the mirror consists of an interwoven [[pattern->BF 2]] of gold pieces twirling and circling each other. Inside the golden maze are enamel flowers and leaves with gemstones at their center. Two handcrafted butterfly figures grace the mirror’s frame, one at the top and the other diagonal to her sister, towards the bottom of the structure. The outermost parts of their wings are the lightest of blue, while the innermost parts are a deep navy. These figures are poised in such a way as to create the illusion that the butterflies might take flight at any moment, leaving behind the intricate pattern of leaves and flowers and gold.]

(Color:yellow)[The frame surrounding the mirror consists of an interwoven pattern of gold pieces twirling and circling each other. Inside the golden maze are enamel flowers and leaves with gemstones at their center. The pattern continues into the mirror’s handle, so that at its tip there is a petite pink flower completing the image. The handle curves inward, allowing for even the most delicate, feminine hand to enfold the object with ease. Two handcrafted butterfly figures grace the mirror’s frame, one at the top and the other diagonal to her sister, towards the bottom of the structure. The outermost parts of their wings are the lightest of blue, while the innermost parts are a deep navy. These figures are poised in such a way as to create the illusion that the butterflies might take flight at any moment, leaving behind the intricate pattern of leaves and flowers and gold.] You put it [[down.->BR3]]

Remember when he saw you at the store that night when you looked like you'd just crawled out of bed? Do you remember the embarrassment you felt? The humiliation? You're not going to go out looking like that again, are you? [[No.->BR3]] [[I'm in a hurry!]]

You apply whitening strips to your teeth and go back to your [[bedroom->BR3]].

You look at the mirror and [[remember]] what you have tried to forget.

You mildly burn your neck while straigtening your [[hair.]] You [[sigh.->Bedroom 2]]

(font:"Impact")[Is it worth the embarrassment, ugly?] [[No.->BR3]]

(Color:yellow)[A thick layer of dust covers the object, most noticeably on the mirror itself. The sheen of the mirror is dulled, and the opulent glimmer of the gold is dimmed by the debris covering its surface. A shard slightly bigger than rim of a champagne flute is missing from top left corner of the mirror, and small cracks ripple and dance across the surface of the reflective glass. The outline of the missing piece reveals that although the shard is not large, it is jagged enough to cut through skin. Not cleanly and neatly, like a surgeon’s scalpel, but, rather, like a household pair of scissors against thick canvas – doable, but not with ease. Could it be done?] [[Certainly.]]

(font:"Impact")["Go put on some lipstick on! You look like a corpse."] Loving words from a loving mother. You apply some [[more.->BR3]]

(Color:yellow)[But, unlike the mirror, it would not be elegant. To kill someone with this shard would be messy and undignified, an act of desperation. It would be ugly and brutal and difficult. But it could be done.] It hurts to remember. [[Turn away.]] [[Keep remembering.]]

Moonlight filters through your curtains. The [[front door ->Front door 4]] is through the living room. The [[bathroom ->Bathroom 4]] connects to your bedroom. The [[hand mirror->HM3]] is on the [[vanity ->Vanity 4]].

Two months passed before anyone noticed. By then the body emitted a terrible odor. Two months before a wellness check was performed on the [[crazy old lady]] who never leaves her house and keeps the curtains drawn day and night. Two months before they found everything: the rooms filled to the brim with beauty products. Filled with wrinkle cream and face masks and hair dye, with discarded undereye serum, lotion, and bottles upon bottles of foundation strewn about in piles, under the furniture, in drawers, and on shelves. Two months before her decomposing corpse was carried out of the house in a body bag as the neighbors looked on with horrified fascination from their windows.

You can't go out like that. Your mother would laugh at you. Your grandmother too. Everyone would. [[I know.->Turn away.]] (When was the last time I left the house?)

Are you ready now? [[Yes.->Certainly.]] [[No.->Turn away.]]

(text-style:"shudder")[You smudge your eyeliner and break the pencil in frustration. Your tears smudge your mascara.] The burden of [[perfection.->Turn away.]]

You pour hot wax on your armpits and yank the hair out by the root. It fucking [[hurts.->Turn away.]] (font:"Impact")["Beauty is pain."]

Two months passed before anyone noticed. By then the body emitted a terrible odor. Two months before a wellness check was performed on ''your grandmother'' who never leaves her house and keeps the curtains drawn day and night. Two months before they found everything: the rooms filled to the brim with beauty products. Filled with wrinkle cream and face masks and hair dye, with discarded undereye serum, lotion, and bottles upon bottles of foundation strewn about in piles, under the furniture, in drawers, and on shelves. Two months before her decomposing corpse was carried out of the house in a body bag as the neighbors looked on with horrified fascination from their windows. A lonely, abandoned woman. The instillation of self-hatred passed from daughter to daughter to [[daughter.]]

To you. Is this your fate? To suffer the same madness? To devote your life to the hatred of yourself? [[Yes.]] [[No.]]

[[Very well.]]

Your window is open, and a pleasant breeze glides into your home. The [[front door ->Front door 6]] is through the living room, next to [[the kitchen.]] The [[bathroom ->Bathroom 6]] connects to your bedroom. The [[hand mirror->HM5]] and your [[cell phone->Phone 2]] are on the [[vanity ->Vanity 6]].

(Color:yellow)[And yet, despite whatever bloodshed did or did not occur by means of the broken glass, the lush and dainty frame of the hand mirror remains. Its only flaw being the dust that blankets the object, and the ripples left by the missing piece. That the mirror is now unsuitable for use is no concern of the butterflies poised on either side of it, nor to the flowers and leaves that surround the mirror in labyrinths of gold. Beauty mourns for nothing except the loss of itself.] [[You are doomed.]] "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." -John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

Your blinds are tightly closed. Sunlight ages one's skin, after all. The [[front door ->Front door 5]] is through the living room. The [[bathroom ->Bathroom 5]] connects to your bedroom. The [[hand mirror->HM4]] is on the [[vanity ->Vanity 5]].

You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that. (text-style:"blur")[You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that.] (text-style:"blurrier")[You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that. You can't leave the house looking like that.] [[You can't leave the house looking like that.->You are doomed.]]

Pluck wax straighten curl shave whiten diet cry cream scream serums lotions treatments gels masks concealer home remedies soaps miracle must-have anti-aging youthful age-defying look and feel younger celebrity endorsement ageless beautiful baby’s bottom fresh out of the fucking womb but this time with sex appeal [[Confinement.->You are doomed.]]

You look at your reflection in the mirror. You are [[unsatisfied.->You are doomed.]] (text-style:"fade-in-out")[It haunts you.]

primer blush eyeshadow highlighter concealer foundation mascara eyeliner lipstick lipgloss setting spray and [[dispair.->You are doomed.]]

Are you really going to leave the house like that? [[Yes.->opening]] [[No.->okay]]

You take a soothing hot shower. You [[smile.->never]]

You keep it as a [[reminder.->No.]]

You put on some sunscreen. [[Safety first.->No.]]

(Color:green)[You take a deep breath and step outside. You are at peace.]

You make breakfast for youself. It's [[delicious.->No.]]

The last time you saw your grandmother - before everything happened - she told you that you looked like you were putting on weight. [[I look fine.]] [[I look fat.]]

You started shaving early. The first time you did it, you were only 10 years old but your mother said your legs looked like a man's, or, even worse, a hippie's, and that it was time for you to act your age. You cut yourself the first time you tried it and the blood flowed free and fast and (Color:red)[red] down your calf. Your mother yelled at you for getting blood on the floor. At least your legs now looked like a ~~girl's~~ woman's. How silly it seemed to remove the naturally growing hair from your body only to have it return in less than a week. But you do as you are told. You don't cut yourself when you do it this time - you've had a lot of practice. You put down the [[razor.->bathroom]]

(font:"Impact")[No you don't. [[Try harder.->bathroom]]]

You ruthlessly scrutinize your body the way your mother taught you to do. Stomach, arms, hips, legs. You scowl at your reflection and [[turn away.->bathroom]]

You think of calling your mom. [[Call her.]] [[Don't bother.]]

The phone [[rings.]]

You put your phone [[down.->Bedroom 2]] It isn't worth trying.

The phone rings. And [[rings.->ring 2]]

And [[rings.->no answer]]

No answer. [[Hang up.->Bedroom 2]][[Leave a voicemail.]]

Hi mom, it's me. [[I'm doing well.]] [[I miss you.]]

Hi mom, it's me. I'm doing well. I'm great, actually. Everything is good here. I thought it might be nice to catch up, but I know you're busy. Well, I'll probably see you at Christmas. Okay, bye. [[Hang up.->Bedroom 2]]

Hi mom, it's me. I miss you. I've been thinking about what... happened with Grandma and I thought we could talk about it. I guess I've just been stressed out lately. Anyway, I know you're very busy, but call me if you want. Alright, well, I'll see you over the holidays I guess. [[Hang up.->Bedroom 2]]

Your grandmother used to obsessively put her hair in curlers every night before she would go to sleep. You remember watching her do this on the nights that you would stay there as a child. You wonder if she still did that after she began her spiral into insanity. [[She probably did.->GM memory]]

That's okay. Take all the time that you need. [[Try again.->Front door 6]] [[Not yet.->No.]]

A long chat with an old friend. Plans to get coffee and catch up tomorrow morning. The wave of isolations slowly receeding off the shore and into the horizon. [[Connection.->No.]]

Your mother always told you to take cold showers - better for your skin and hair. You savor the feeling of the heat caressing your body like an embrace. You sing the whole time, even once you are [[drying off.->No.]]

You do not check the mirror before opening the [[door.->outside]]

She wasn't always crazy. Particular, yes, and peculiar, but the downward sprial came later. She loved you very much in her own way. Hugs and green tea and makeup tips. Watching over you when your mother couldn't be bothered. [[That's over now.->Bedroom 2]]